So I am by no means one of those people who will sit down in a public place and whip out the boob and start nursing Cooper. I don't push breast feeding onto other women, and I'm not all about the "Breast is Best" motto. That being said, I do believe in the benefits of breast feeding for both Mama and Baby. It's great for Baby's immune system, growth, and development and it's fast, easy, and not to mention (basically) free for Mama. I always had envisioned myself breast feeding my babies until they were at least one year old, then continuing to pump for them until they were 18 months to two years old. However, as Cooper is quickly approaching his one year birthday, I somehow am having trouble seeing how we're going to stop this. I've read countless articles on how to wean a baby, and I understand the science and mechanics behind it, I just can't grasp the emotional changes it's going to bring about. Nursing has always been mine and Cooper's special time together. Especially the past few months, he won't even latch if anyone (and by anyone I mean Adam, because he's pretty much the only one who I'll even try to feed in front of) is in the room. It's like the rest of the world is put on hold until he is full. I feel a certain sense of pride knowing that I (with AJ's contribution) created this tiny human, grew him within me for 9 months, and am still that vital source of life for him. Not to mention, it's so much easier to nurse rather than have to pump, or warm up a bottle, which saves us a lot of time and energy in the middle of the night when Cooper wakes up and feeding him is the only way to get him back down (which I know needs to stop..) With all of this being said, I have begun constantly thinking about how long I can carry this out. I am not being judgmental to anyone who does this, but it really creeps me out on a personal level to see a toddler, walking & talking, go up to their mother, pull up her shirt, and start nursing in public. I know it's natural, but ugh I don't know, I can't get over that.
Since deciding to forgo medical school, and instead taking the Doctor of Nursing Practice route, I have been applying for part-time jobs in the hospital realm. Since we're not moving out of state we will finally be moving out of my parents home, which means we will need another source of income. I don't want to put Cooper in any sort of daycare until he's at least two, at which point I just want it to be more of a source of social development than a needed thing, so I am sticking to a part-time job, which allows me to work nightshift hours, so I will only be missing mostly sleeping hours with Cooper. As anyone working in the hospital world knows, most night shifts are 7pm-3am or 7pm-7am and sometimes 11pm-7am, which means that I won't be here for bedtime routine (which has always been mine and Cooper's thing, except AJ always undresses him because he makes a game out of it and Cooper just loves it) on days that I work. Now, Cooper is no stranger to bottles, we started him on bottles when he was 1 month old, and he takes them like a champ. However, unless it is one of those rare occasions that AJ and I leave to go out before Cooper is sleeping for the night, I always nurse him to sleep. I have this unwarranted fear that I will leave poor AJ with Cooper for bedtime and the child will not go to sleep and I will receive frantic phone calls begging me to come home to nurse him to sleep. While I will only be working maybe 3 nights a week, I cannot get over this irrational fear. I mean, he's gone to sleep with a bottle from my mom before when we've gone out.. what would be the difference if AJ had to give him a bottle, right? Then comes the fear that he will get so used to the bottle at night that he will self-wean and not want to nurse anyone and there goes our special time together.. Are you beginning to sense the irrationality of the whole situation yet? But these are the things that go through my mind during 2am feedings, yet another reason to at least start night weaning this child.
Nursing mamas... any advice would be greatly appreciated..
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